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Board 8 RAP BATTLE: tha LEAGUE 3 Week 3
The Third Week of the Board 8 RAP BATTLE: tha LEAGUE 3 Tournament. ''~Week 3~ Battle 1: RollTheBones vs. Realo ~The Score~ Term papers RollTheBones: 7 Realo: 8 ~The Raps~ RollTheBones Takin’ you to school like September and we’re happy to be rid of ya’ You’re the league’s ugliest member, you scare away chlamydia In English it’s my mission to show you that our skills are a juxtaposition Mine are the exhibition of demolition while yours are just apparitions Algebraically it is essential that you understand all my credentials My skills grow in ways exponential while yours have no potential. In current events you’re debating for the right to be a gay groom I’d have a gym class joke here but you only “come” for the change room Get your ass to detention, don’t make me mention a suspension Hopefully you paid attention and have some retention of my lesson Enough of the concept, you’ve got a feel of my skills, they’re unreal bro My technique is just ideal so now you can that see shit just got real, O! Realo Why the hell would I need algebra to understand your diction? You're trying to hard to make clever rhymes out of your shitty fiction The witty's missin, if I'm chlamydia then it's for sure a fact That the only STD your sorry ass has never gotten was a "clap" Bricks and bats... to ya skull, so if this is your September Then call me Wyclef Jean cuz I'll be gone until November Remember, Board 8 member, you can quickly get dismembered A contender? I can get this pretender tendered in a blender He misremembers his gender, he don't want the drama sender Kiss my shiny metal ass, call me Rodriguez comma Bender So surrender... quit all the talk about school and detention Cuz gym class is all you passed; you had good "anal retention" RollTheBones I’ll continue your education with my sensational revelations My vocation is annihilation while yours seems to be lyrical constipation Historically you’re just a foot note like Genghis Khan’s shoe size Metaphorically, I hit like the holocaust where 6 million jews died Philosophically I’m unheard of like leavin’ Descartes confused An impossibility that’s occurred, my rhymes leave great minds bemused. I’m astronomically in control - a genius supernova named Roll Swallow planets whole, while you’re less bright, and suck more than a black hole Got time for one last class for your whack ass to see if you’ll pass But the forecast sure looks bad, the best lines you amassed are surpassed. I’ll leave you broken and chokin’ with all the lines that I’ve spoken, I spit pure fire so hot and provoking that it makes Digi start smokin’ Realo Congratulations R-T-B, you brought out the violent me, aint nobody leavin' The Pat Riley of Board 8, puttin Heat across the chest of everybody breathin' I'm believin', your dramatic thematics are lackin' in the seasonin' I'm the King of Pop, they call all my automatics Mr. Jackson for a reason Commiting treason with the King of static, you're a fanatic little heathen Leavin you steamin like Willie Beamen, idiosyncratic to your screamin' The schematics of Illmatic are pragmatic to this charasmatic diplomatic To being "Ill" you're asymptomatic, you're simply an axiomatic asthmatic You can't understand language this traumatic like I'm Austro-asi-atic Lyrics stuck inside you prostatic, me winning's becoming dog-matic You wanted to go against the great one well I told you can have it Got more lines than double rainbows, your bars are all monochromatic Battle 2: Wigs vs. ExTha ~The Score~ Wigs: 3 ExTha: 12 ~The Raps~ Wigs Time to see ExTha why I am The Champion, gonna Tie You Down (or maybe your Mother) One Vision says gonna Kill you like a Queen, but Make you Bite The Dust, another Don't Stop Me Now if you wanna go clean, Keep Yourself Alive, if you Wanna Live Forever This double act is only for me to be seen, and for you to be feelin' Under Pressure You're rappin' BLIND if you think I won't sweep, more visually impaired than Leela What Imma put you in is real knee-deep, reminded of Portugal and North Korea? Readin' your shit makes me sick in my sleep, incurable with a panacea, Falls apart fast and its real damn cheap, and wobbly like the shit from IKEA Close your eyes n' get ready to pucker, cuz you cant face my sour candy You won't be able to handle this "sucker", like Cena repeatedly scours Randy Send you into spastics like Chris Tucker, I'm fightin' cool like Jackie Chan, see S'why you got no girl beggin' to fuck her, better ask Warning how to get a handy ExTha They call me Harry Potter see, coz of my linguistic wizardry. You slip trippin' all over ya words like you playin' a game a' verbal twister, B. Fact's that you lackin' phonetically and I'm bout to wax more poetically than Mister 3! Mr. please realize you tried too hard with too much thematic non sense, and it's constant, ya face makes skirts wanna zip up and join convents. Mr. Wiggs, fan of Mets with his NL vote that's gonna be wasted. I cop your doc claim all day and kill mid afternoon coz I'm fuckin' day-vig. I'm a serial killa' in a house of vanilla. Blood spilla'. No man can claim illa'... than the dude who'll drop you in 20 off the bench like Cesc vs. Villa. So I'd surrender to my villainy, coz too much of me is bad for yer health. Nickname'd ExLax 'coz one round vs. me'll have ya shittin' yerself. Wigs You proven one thing, that'll be heard around the globe That your idea of bling is donning a wizard's cap and robe You gotta being so felled, like some spectral decorum A rap easily dispelled with my Expecto Patronum From hearin my spell, you'll end up dead or much worse Welcome to Hell, via Unforgivable Verse Then in my maf' scene, there'll be no recess Jus' a funeral, departed Queen, or more likely Princess Day-vig today? I got you at bay, this'll be a cinch 4 left to play, I'm BP SK, so I think I'll No Lynch! Here I got untoppable fame, 'long with buddy Boko Instead beat YOU at YOUR own game, fell my RKO. ExTha Your verse left us flaccid, with an unrealistic limp dick. So sit back coz I'm bout to kick that ill linguistic pimp shit. My words will have the crowd rockin', all the ladies ridin' my Johnson, they'll be suckin' my shit and, your words'll have us straight joyrock responsin'. "Wrong, try again kid." hits you, and we can all see that you're lost and I'm more bomb than what Emm-Dub-Cee wants done to Boston. I'm the boss and, this yer death sentence to "I'm gettin' MURKED" Row. Because ExTha's more pimp than the evolution of Murkrow. Head honcho of this game, yo. Did you just seriously hit me with an R-K-O? Coz that shit's half assed, so sit your whack ass back and learn from the master of that craft. I'll have to laugh in this aftermath when I remember I'm top tier and you're mentally half mast. And bring Boko all you want... coz you proved in matches with 2 versus, yer still handicapped! Battle 3: jdizzy vs. MysteriousStan ~The Score~ jdizzy: 4 MysteriousStan: 10 ~The Raps~ MysteriousStan A trial by fire is how this all started Bow your heads now for the dearly departed. Cause I got that Top Shot like Vash the Stampede Indeed my speed made you concede as ya bleed Quicker n’ liquor downed by a desperate slut – ya light flickers Snicker as I throw ya in the scrap heap for the American Pickers Or pawn ya ass off to Rick and Big Hoss Sign says “Couldn’t Sell” – a financial loss An’ pissed off like the Ice Road Truckers in the middle of summer Joined the Modern Marvels so this ain’t gonna be another bummer. Gather round jdizzy - slain by Stan of Mystery In case that wasn’t clear, he’s History. jdizzy Its no mystery that im gonna put ya body in a hearse Your first verse was hella boring, that's why the history theme works My swag is futuristic son, like i hopped out the delorian While you rapping to cavemen and i bet you hear them snoring huh? Yawn, you made this shit too easy and id go shit yo girl but she really dont please me i dug that bitch out like a palaeontologist then got all up in her head like a fucking psychologist My name aint MARTY but my style is kinda FLY Your rhymes are OLD like BIFF bitch let me tell you why I knew my lines would leave you cut and in need of a suture Cause you stuck in the past while im back in the future MysteriousStan Jdizzy all caught up in that futuristic wave Don’t ya know through history the future was paved? But if you like playing in the dirt you should be Chasing Mummies Or maybe not - Dr. Hawass can’t stand you dummies. Like Mr. Rogers said – “Welcome to the land of Make Believe” Cause you’re fucking a girl only you conceived. I’m single baby, and will be for life - fucking girls left n’ right And when they look at you they’ll say “what a sorry sight” Two strikes deep – better make the next swing count I’m like the Yankees – a challenge you can’t surmount Cause your previous verse is barely keepin’ ya afloat Cursed to go oh n’ five – just like the Cubs and their Billy Goat. jdizzy Thank you for waiting patiently, id applaud your persistence But like a lamb to the slaughter your offering no resistance You keep coming back for more, sir are you a masochist? the thrashing im dishing out to you is equal to a fist... In your ass, I spit fast, suckering sackatash My Tunes are loony, yours is like tuna that gone bad It stinks to high heavens, pe-pe le-pew you always chasing the bitch but the bitch evades you Its true how you say your gonna be single for life the reason is, cause no girl will stay witchu passed half a night when you pull out little porky they laugh like its a joke put they clothes on and end it like "thats all folks!" Battle 4: Boko vs. Cokes ~The Score~ Boko: 2 Cokes: 6 ~The Raps~ Boko i'm a savior on this board, you're just fodder that i slay should be on your knees to pray, you suck more than sasha grey. don't even need to play the day, already scanned you scum you're nick c. without a drum, worse than link with no item. worst user on this forum, you're the level of a slime i'm 99 with Oppy Lime, and he's takin' me through time~ hate to break it to ya cokes, and i'm sorry to your folks but just like Roe spoke I'm gonna break yo mamma's yolks and it's true that it's a crime, but so is you tryin' to rhyme. sho' this took long as peacetime, but this flow will not no-show you can't handle my shit, no, you're a low flow coke-ho so go back to your blow, my fans know save_us.boko. Cokes Congrats on writing the most boring verse that I've ever read I couldn't write rhymes that uninteresting with a gun to my head Callin' yourself a 'savior' with a showin' like that's hilarious Gotta bring your best 'gainst me, 'cause bitch I'm nefarious Your verbal diarrhea can't hope to touch this sickness, this quickness, I'm sendin' you away like a Jehovah's Witness And I am like Link, cuttin' through the battlin' crowd I'm so far above y'all that i'm slicin' right through clouds Got people hooked on Cokes, gotta write what they want So many lines on the table, it's snow white like Vermont You can crack eggs, I got lyrical crack to be snorted By the end of this match, you'll wish you were aborted Boko i am the bane to your game, my lyrics put you to shame flow is my claim to fame, "not worthy" is your surname. like daggers my words'll maim, just one jab and it's lights-out not close; will be a blowout, flow finer than final bout hits come hard as i roll out, like luda i'm number one. you're a gunner with no gun, i'm atlas liftin' the sun fearsome as 'tilla the hun, i'm a duke kicking your ass your skills i simply outclass, knock you out like i'm teargas. you ain't nothin' but a lass, battle you like i am ash afterward you feel whiplash, i hit hard like a car crash. beat you down like hulk smash, you're as tough as wet paper. should i be impressed that you can slice through vapor? Cokes You took a whole verse to respond to one diss, what a bore Such a whore, couldn't beat me if I gave you eleven more You talk about blowouts, but there's no need to mislead The only thing blowin' out are your tires at my speed I've been killin' rappers so long, dead count's in Roman numerals Over the years, sent so many MCs to their funerals So really Boko, we don't need this match to continue Seems pretty clear there's one ace - me - and one has-been - you Now that this is over we can get your body bagged You tried to outrap the king, wound up with your toe tagged So can someone have the cops call in a 1-8-7? 'Cause Boko's just been murdered by Cokes311 Battle 5: Pats D vs. fetus ~The Score~ Pats D: N/A fetus: DQ Battle 6: Biolizard vs. Mer ~The Score~ Biolizard: 6 Mer: 10 ~The Raps~ Biolizard I've heard about you kid, and I'll admit, I'm impressed A newbie rises to the challenge and trumps all of the rest A legend in the making, to be known on every street I have on good authority you've got some sick beats Got friends in the back alleys, the street corners too Ain't a single fucker out there who ain't heard of you Your skills on the mic, well, they really aren't the best, y'know But like I said before, you are a master of fellatio Ain't a single rhyme you expressed suggests that you can best me You aren't fooling anyone, you cannot hope to test me A fledgling cut down before he earned his big boy pants Slink back to your corner, you had no chance Mer Call me HIM, bitch, cause I raise hell quick, My shit's tight, your rhymes lamer than PELSWICK, Eat up all these rappers like they're COWs & CHICKENs, Don't call me OTTO ROCKET cause I'm not about trickin', like TINO and CARVER I end the weak, Fucked your dad on the beach, call it SANDY CHEEKS, Flow like ICKIS, Aaahh!!! I'm so real, and I don't deal with bitches like STEVE- I mean, BILL, you're angry like DAGGETT tryin' to call me faggot, My flow's VON STRANGLE, I am magic, maggot! bruise like BIG PATTY, make wounds and they fester Bio, you are STYOOOPID! I tell ya like DEXTER. Biolizard Like the cartoons you cling too, it's all gone downhill You have the desire, but you don't have the skill Wish to play with the big boys, provin' your worth But the gravity of these lyrics drag you back down to Earth I'm a force to be reckoned with, a man without an equal The original masterpiece to your half-hearted sequel Throw you in the river like an unwanted daughter Cryin to your father like your last name is Slaughter My lyrics read like poetry, you look like a spoof If you thought you stood above me, boy, you dun goofed You're just another player, but I am the game Defy me and consequences will never be the same Mer Fuckin' with me? Man, you could be wiser, Upgrade the haters, I got fuckin' despisers, Claim that you can rap? Don't be Twisted, Dee Snyder Killin' all these bitches, call me Mike-y Meyers, You could get AIDS and still never be sick, Only thing softer than your rhymes is your dick, Unexpected, you can call me Kanye East, Better sit down, Mer's a motherfuckin' beast, I am up so high, call me the skyscraper, Told you your shit's weak, no toilet paper, Callin' the whole board to serve as my witness, Here's another name I can check off my hit list. Battle 7: Curt vs. Aeon Azuran ~The Score~ Curt: 7 Aeon Azuran: 10 ~The Raps~ Curt Not to condescend but in the end a breeze it was to ascend, There's a reason I'm a legend, and to battle you I must descend. My friend you can't defend my rhymes and I can see you're rattled, Beat me? That'll be the day; I'll slaughter you like cattle. I'll smash you with your own last verse 'n render you immoble. Disperse that trash 'n rip it up then blast you with a*1 bible. call me Devil, now they revel as they see thee hammered, Believe they clamor to up my level as BEAST: kelsey grammer. I assist as your psychiatrist, don't think your crap has shit on this. Insist he needs a title change from rapper to receptionist. A-A*2 'clapper' wit-his mouth open, I throw out conditions: 'retard' Witness this dick in position to blow his fucking brains out, I come hard. *1: a pronouced 'uh' in stead of 'ah' *2: 'ah ah' stuttering, like 'a clapper' Aeon Azuran “Come hard”? Flirt! Allow me to be curt: A squirt in your skirt just ain’t gonna hurt. With flow so inert you’re not alert for my re-‘torte’; Once the ball’s in my court I eat your verse for dessert. You rhyme slow, slower than a slideshow. Kelsey Grammer? You belong in a sideshow, Bob. Facing me gave you a woody, you had plenty of footies*1 but couldn’t even find yourself a handjob. You’re a master of asterisks who can’t master the diss. That’s where I’m the pimp, slave, get your gimp suit on. Take your big black dildo, I know you like to fill slow but don’t be still, it’s gonna thrill yo ass until dawn. Put a show on for my customers, it’s unrehearsed and so perverse you’d be surprised it’s on air live – coerced to have it televized There’s no misconception, I’m in charge of reception; Hi-def so everyone sees the distress in your eyes. But Curt, you’re still a legend, no mortal species! I humbly request that we test my prediction: You bring drama to the board like flies to feces; When I beat you will you have another conniption? You claimed favoritism, insulted the league, the injustice perceived had you waxin’ poetic But when you emailed and begged me to let you back in was when you were most pathetic! Curt I fell asleep to that last crime, it felt like I lost track of time, let's see how many lines can rhyme cheap thrills I guess but let's rewind -- 24 lines combined 'n STILL not half as good as one of mine. No more messin' around see; scared? better start with yer reverse, depressin that they all concur how clowned you were by the first verse. flow stacked and ready, vicious rush to go arrest your cardiac spittin' hard attack to crush your rack 'n let you rest wit' bernie mac. strong willed enough to exact one more track? son you should abort 'em you'll be killed 'n look like michael jack-son viewed post mortem Bitches flock around me cuz my words show how much skill you lack, he's dead 'n I still fuck his skull, call me a necrophiliac. Put you in a remote control 'n use it to mute your vocal cords Close your throat, tis' true drama, but at least I bring SOMETHING to the board. Aeon Azuran You can’t take my full length so I’m spittin’ faster, shorter Deconstruct the way you sucked by rippin’ out the mortar Exposed the flaws, now you’re getting’ stressed at all you’re lackin’ in. What I bring to the board? Try the contest that you’re rappin’ in. “Mute” me ‘till your finger’s sore, mine still soar across my keys Spellin’ "doom" I weave a loom of lyrical fatalities that leaves you threadbare. Need a tailor? Leave and head there While my automatic rap keeps addin’ static to your dead air. Your first two lines were shallow, less than pale imitation. Don’t let your skills lie fallow when they need some irrigation from my skull; It’s unapproachable, these Jaws loose abuse in a flood Remove Curt from the kiddie pool, this shark’s got a taste of his blood. Battle 8: Rusty vs. Seginustemple ~The Score~ Rusty: 1 Seginustemple: 9 ~The Raps~ Rusty ''R''ight hook right off tha get go, knock punch sends segnis out of tha ring ''U''sian in the house, breakin’ records what I do here just like in Beijing ''S''eggy, you better pay attention now, you may just learn something ''T''o simply read your only battle, i suffered of Seginustemple fatigue ''Y''ou should follow in the footsteps of WingedInsignia, get outta tha league ''O’er hell and get high, help ya hold back your fears ''V''ictory is my future; you’re in for some tears ''E''arthquakes we make, this battle’s for the ages ''R''usty vs. Seg is like Chaos against 2 white mages ''S''undown’s approaching; the real star will arrive soon ''E''ither that or the king of the sea, loaded with harpoons ''G''et your cameras ready, I stompin’ like this won’t happen again til june Seginustemple boy, that was too much mental damage for any fan to see don't need sigmund frued to tell you're spellin out a fantasy and you be puddle deep in subtlety but my rebuttal be silently virulent the black plague's back, baby, aint enough coffins to pile in so I'll slam you brain first in a hearse, I'm often shoveling the pale and hammerin out insane verses that hurt worse than rusty nails pleas for mercy fail, I bust out gold cups like holy grails like "bring out your dead" I'll rip you up repping a hail of growlin howitzers in a flower's stead you're steppin in led showers rusty, you just a powerless metal head who can't hang when I make it rain and I'm made of vibranium, flames high like filet mignon stainless and maiming every hater that makes me famous play so grand I make contra bland, that's how hard my game is Rusty Contra wouldn’t be so hard, if you didn’t use the konami code If your game were anything like mine, you’d play on super hard mode Now you should follow in my footsteps, it’s time to hit the road My raps will be hitting so hard, it makes oliphaunt’s head explode Hopefully by your next verse, Pats D will follow your flow My punches will make your brain worse than mine, bro This match should be an episode on pros vs. joes Since all tha critics compare me to the eminem show Now it’s time for you to r.i.p. when I drop the glock Defeating you by 5 and that wolf beard you rock For the six degrees of inner turbulence will put you in posthumous shock DT representin’, seggy your weak raps on tha clock Seginustemple rusty has all these rules and he thinks they'll save him my tool will crush his theater of dreams causing it to cave in a schism in the system from my risen fist and wit blistering pissed off insisting this ***** piss off and desist existing so you say oliphaunt's exploding? that's insane, plainly it's from rust takes so much to ignite a guy that spontaneously combusts but you can't legitimize a dim burst against this atomic song-sayer in critics eyes you're slims worst - can't stand up to the long players fair enough comparison, you're the wrong stuff, a careless embarrasment beware this: I'm garrulous and rarely I spare a diss, bury the pairless like aequitis and veritas it's perilous to blame me when you inevitably lose this one cuz with a name like rusty I can guess what the excuse is, son Battle 9: Menji vs. Ed Bellis ~The Score~ Menji: 3 Ed Bellis: 11 ~The Raps~ Menji Eddy! With that Bizarro face, you a superman wannabe like Sloth Here’s Menji in flight - the butterfly, while you a wingless moth Can’t fly! So travel like Data and you’ll get called by every ref I’m hanging you up in beta - leavin’ you with the babysitter Stef Describing you is easy: pale with braces, the same as Mikey Too skinny to truffle shuffle, but my Mouth says “just do it” - like Nike My rhymes make you cry, a Chunk without his Baby Ruth candy I never say die, I am the Babe, the Goonie emcee Andy Spit your rhymes out and I’ll eat them like they’re Raisin Bran Raps dried up and stale, hear the siren wail – bombin’ like Japan Trapped! I’ll send you a guide dog - hope you don’t go silly ‘Cause I took your eye, Ed Bells – you the next One-Eyed Willy Ed Bellis You had to specify 'can't fly' as if 'wingless' wasn't sufficient Had to say you 'took my eye' when 'One Eyed Willy' gets a reference I suppose it's only fair that since you're mentally deficient You assume that everybody else has 'stupid' as a preference Menji's like the Anti-Nike, the Bizarro Bellis Blues Motivating all the children with two simple words: 'Just don't' And if Kryptonite's the only thing that Superman eschews I could blow up this Bizarro with my pinky – but I won't 'stead I'll beat you till you're drowning in a river of your tears There's a lesson that's I'm stressing in the midst of all of this If you're paralyzed by doubtfulness and struggling with fears Ask 'Could I beat Menj at Rapping?' and the answer's probably 'Yes.' Menji Those rhymes are repulsive! A lady growin’ Jumanji down there Beware and forgive me if by bestowin’ - my raps cut you unaware That poetic assist tilts the show in my favor, my very first kiss I insist you call your fans IF they exist before you subsist I have the fans understood and they’re with me ‘til the end A lyrical cult of brotherhood - you couldn’t even comprehend No friends is what bogs you, mine surround me like the fog I’m putting the pressure on you like the jump in leap frog Better yet, I’m the debt collectors on your lyrical finance I’m seeing the future in one glance – “you in a fetal stance” Still givin’ you a chance once I finish peepin’ this narrative Knowing you’ll lose is my moral imperative Ed Bellis You talk about imperative but you Kant quite understand These linguistics ain't comparative – yours suck and mine are grand You've got narrower grooves than a minor DNA strand If you had any great moves they're like your fetushood - unplanned Understand? I'm like Jumanji so you better roll the dice I'll spell it out in kanji: Gonna ice you like a statue so you'll be even more a poseur Collect my debts? I'll stab you off so hard it's like four closures Comin' at ya like bulldozers (don't worry, you can't get any flatter) It's kinda like hypnosis – I don't mind and you don't matter So scatter like confetti at my victory celebration And make like Ugly Betty in the rot of cancellation. Battle 10: Justin Crossing vs. Warning_Crazy ~The Score~ Justin Crossing: 3 Warning_Crazy: 11 ~The Raps~ Justin Crossing so wc, how's it goin; is there anythin new have you recently taken a blowjob or two do you pretend that your girl's a pokemon licking your dick if you do i hope your rhydon rides your disco stick i won't even have to bring out any weapons if your rhydon decides to attack, i'll watch with some bourbon i've got a friend who's a nurse who's doing me a service she's scanning the hospital for your broken pelvis and make sure you don't forget to wear some protection rhydon's weak to water moves, it could even cause some conception actually what would it be like for half wc half rhyhorn he'd probably adore it, it's like his usual porn Warning_Crazy Man, of all the people to come at my about my girl Its JC who decided to give this tired approach a whirl My girlfriend is one of the hottest chicks in this land The closest thing JC got is his left hand Perhaps JC might eventually follow his houndoom Be attracted by a grimer, and than into the gloom But anything would have to be better than his current fate To be a member of the country which everyone hates Canadians, i despise everything about them From their GMUNs to their Crosbys to their national gem JC, the pride of a nation, a responsibility weighty Hell, the countries that pity them include the DRC and Haiti Justin Crossing so it's just as i said you enjoy pokemon by calling her hot you profess love to rhydon maybe when she gets older she'll evolve into something superior the extremely bulky hulk otherwise known as rhyperior and don't go insulting my freakin sweet homeland we laugh while your cities flood from fat peoples' sweat glands hurricane katrina was actually just a cover it was just rhydon having a critical hit with thunder soon enough new york won't be there much longer or so the scale says, it won't satiate your hunger and the true cause of rising waters isn't the glaciers calving it's your country slowly sinking to cope with your craving Warning_Crazy Man your view of fat is more terrible than SephG She measures in at 5 foot 8 and weighs 130 But that really isn’t whats important here JC shows that he doesn’t know what to fear To diss on the mother fucking U S of A When all your country does is listen to us, eh? I mean can you name a anything Canada has done? I sat for 24 hours and couldn’t think of a single one I guess your inferiority complex makes you lash out at your betters It’s a pretty common thing among your type, bedwetters I guess I’ve pretty conclusively proved that I am the better of the _Cs But now we will now have something more: a voter decree Battle 11: sonicblastpunch vs. Digi ~The Score~ sonicblastpunch: 9 Digi: 11 ~The Raps~ sonicblastpunch i'm sure you'll pooch this match so i don't feel the need to hound the thing my furious finesse will be the flood that finds you floundering it's sink or swim time and i'll watch you drown, my favourite visual can't bob your head back up for air, you ain't no bobby digital i'll terror-rza all that is that keeps you here -- you're stubborn but there's nothing stopping me dropping you deader than kurt vonnegut this jive is my slaughterhouse five unfazed by your children's crusade your face looks like the aftermath of some rocket-propelled grenade i'll fire that rpg straight downwards, blast your career straight earthbound like broadcasting the humpty dance i'll send digital underground no funeral forthcoming when there's no one here who holds you dear just scorn for your three-minute raps and your fifteen-minute career Digi You had twelve lines to troll me grace us with your diction quotas Then you shelve nine and roll three, out of place like an eviction notice If you wanted to forefeit, shoulda said that's what you preferred All you had to do was say the word so DI could leave your body on the curb Dunno what was so absurd, I'ma stick my dick in your ear and fuck what ya heard Tell the scene what occurred when your theme got blurred, without precision you slur When I ream and I spurred your dream which deferred your scheme, my INCISION I confer. Your lines are moving slow, rendering streams worse than that spoiler site Mines improving flow, tendering schemed verse at up to ten megabyte! Run you like a red light, sit down drop the mic, back off son and soothe yo vendetta Son you like a dead knight, nothin' but a sad sight, a victim of my smooth operetta. sonicblastpunch hey, question -- what's a line length? oh, wait, you have no idea no surprise the crowd hates you like kim jong-il hates south korea no surprise your line of silence was the brightest thing you said you stuffed a watch in your mouth and still couldn't keep time in your head your set was better left unread, your reputation took a beating when you left a line unsaid inside eleven not worth reading for a verse so bad even its writer walked out partway through you made yourself look flakier than colin baker's doctor who or shakier than jake the snake at closing time, make no mistake i'm going to crush your hopes and dreams like damien underneath earthquake the natural disaster here: you took the name 'incision', but you chose it despite knowing that you'll never, ever make the cut Digi The guy who is preaching line length can't keep his flow straight He tries his hand at teachin rhyme strength, can't keep his flow great You're about to go six feet under, 'cause your raps are slippin Four lines into my rap and I've already got my clip in I hold off on my good lines, hide 'em, and wait for you to doze I must stash my rhymes like the hair between yo lip and nose I'm getting dirty looks from hella haters and that smirk of yours But I can take stares like the escalators don't work in stores I'm rapping against morons, but Cokes keeps putting more on, My raps is hard like boron, yours are just a bore, yawn Try so hard to stick lines you didn't make you found in web searches I get more sick lines by mistake than you'll ever get on purpose Battle 12: Minipoooot vs. Chrono1219 ~The Score~ Minipoooot: 9 Chrono1219: 0 ~The Raps~ Minipoooot Well I may be late to this game, but you still slower than slow Playin' to win is my aim, all you can do is blow Your lyrics are tamer than tame, mine got immaculate flow Girls in bed yellin' my name, you can't even fuck a ho You lookin' for someone to blame, scared when you against a pro Your words are like Asians- all look the same, mine so asshole sick they glow I arrived at this rap ready to play, spittin' words so tight even God would swear I came prepared to slay, you can't do shit cause you got no pair You best get down and pray, although bein' on your knees- you been there Like AK-47 bullets my words spray, in the space-time continuum I cause a tear You don't stand a chance in this fray, I'm the strike to your spare I'm like Santa on my sleigh, you been so naughty I just burned you rare Chrono1219 I was on a beech deep in meditation. Then I got a vision of Midichlorian inspiration. Your mind has been tricked, the kind of the Jedi Variety. Masters for the force have deemed you unfit for Society. All this time you'll be going "hand solo" Moan to hard, hear a beep and blip "uh oh" You got a light saber, but you use the wrong end. Get your lube, spread it on, over and bend. Scissors to your life line, snip and cut. A bitch is gonna end you like Jabba the Hut The council has spoken, and here's the news. Excommunication from the rap battle, you lose. Minipoooot Bitch I'm like the Empire, I strike back hard and quick You're the Phantom Menace, all you do is suck dick Get on your knees and lick my lightsaber so thick My jedi mind tricks gonna hit you harder than a brick My splooge is like carbonite, gonna cover you with my sap My saber will be in you before you know 'it's a trap' Your mind runs slower than a constipated ewok's crap Even Jar Jar would be annoyed with your rap I find your lack of skills disturbing, gonna force choke your face My skills are icy like Hoth, gonna freeze you in place Compared to Episode II, you still a disgrace Bitch you got no business here- get the shit out of space Chrono1219 There's a flaw in your design, like the Death Star's. Maybe that's why you like the tongue of Jar Jar's. Running with your wingmen, Biggs and Wedge. One is behind, and the other's getting head. These are not the raps we're looking for, looks like you'll stay an apprentice. Choose from a selection Jawa whores, Bow to your master on all fours. Take one hard, gasp, and beg for more, while I take your girl on my starship. Situation falling apart like the Jersey Shore, your not even worth putting in clone wars. When people look at you they report a rakghoul sightng. You look more lost than the Sequel trilogy writing. Just go to sleep, you're clearly not good at fighting. While in your dream, I'll have chicks cream, to my force lightning. Battle 13: As I Desire vs. swordsman12 ~The Score~ As I Desire: 4 swordsman12: 4 ~The Raps~ As I Desire boo! too bad for you, shoulda died of fright now this fresh blight’s your plight, I am the nouveau might a bigger shock than lightning strikes by magnemite – go fly a kite! nah, I checked your weight, it’s light your rhymes just petty crimes, no need to indict in fact I’ll be slight with the spite, survey a softer sight I’ll ask the queen about you, she’s nice: “he’s *****” wow a mite impolite, but your majesty’s quite right “I've MI-5 he'll lady di, now let me knight your white delight” uh sorry liz I’ll miss my flight, good night. see it ain't me: you're grade D by crown decree so swordsman, keep the 1 and 2, 'cause I own 3. swordsman12 Where’s the punch, what’s the matter? I thought this was a battle! You’re breaking hearts of fans like Cobain in Seattle cause they think that you’re on top as you’re dying in your castle. The only way to thwart me is to report this, click “offensive” Or I’ll go back to senior prom and tell your mom to abort kids, “but damn, it’s expensive!” Like defects I contort ribs, leave you bent more than that fiver dollar whore did. I’m the Vader to your Biggs, I blast your x-wing and leave you guessing You failed in round one, there will be no further testing This is my game and I’m the chess king, toy with you then to the next fling The only time you spit hot lines is texting boys to request molesting See your chest start to rattle, this is Redemption and you’re cattle Lasso round your neck, give you my sword tip like Tatl . As I Desire two verses down (but really one) and this truth's holding still: I'm as slick and you're as **** as a BP oil spill I really should have known, mental midgets come up short but now on to bigger news, check this special report: so sick, AID's epidemic, drugs got no retort you can't even make madagascar close the port. your only chance for a comeback's the dawn of the dead so sit back and relax while my undead gnaw on your head I kid, much like girls do they'll leave you alone the brainless can't make chicks OR zombies moan. that's why FFD still couldn't free you from my resident evil if you weren't too busy drinking *** then asking for a refill. swordsman12 Alright listen, it’s time that I be fixin your ego that’s persistin’ There’s a certain aura ‘bout me when I’m dissin that you’re missin Like I’m Jesus and you’re Christian, you’re the worm and I’ve gone fishin' So you better start wishin that I let you keep existin’ Beating you is easy, like an AIDs-related gay joke Is that sleazy skirt too breezy? I see your braids through my AK scope Call me Ashton cause I’m punking you with lines so orgasmic that your trashbin’s filled with spunk and goo You’re sunk, it’s through, you couldn’t win this if I got DQ’d I don’t even need the keys, beat you with the mouse then leave your house doused in gasoline I don’t need a match, my fire turns this to a tragic scene You’ve been outdone so quit, it’s time I lit the J I rolled I run this ****, call me Ari cause my lines are Gold. Battle 14: Alec vs. Dilated Chemist ~The Score~ Alec: 14 Dilated Chemist: 14 ~The Raps~ Alec Equal parts flow and rhyme, I'm a rap Arnold Palmer Last word on killa g's, like Jeff Dahmer's embalmer See I been saving the league like ol' Mo Rivera Burning bitches so hard I drive sales of aloe vera Watch me drop Verbal twists, like I'm the Usual Suspects 'gainst a Chemist's "Dilated" from the hard end of buttsex I'm spittin' flow that's so cold that I'm superconductin' While there's nary a hole that you haven't been fucked in Your situation is dire, one more misfire and we'll require you retire You think you're on fire? I seen better shit writ by Stephenie Meyer In your last battle you choked, what a joke, got your rap license revoked Least now you show promise as a blunt, cuz boy you just got smoked Dilated Chemist I'll nail your ears to the east just so you can hear me right. Battle DC the top emcee - bound to have a fear of heights! Geared for fights, come near the mic and I'll drop your writs with an apocalypse. Alec's style is monotonous - I'm here to top his shit with proper hits. Fists of legend, not a myth - my punchline king status you'll never match. I spit rawness with clever concepts that your whackness will never grasp Sabotage your daring acts - dislodge all your thoughts, improbable or not. When it comes to rhyming, I'm like Curt's whining - I'm impossible to stop! You rap like anal sex, all shitty - should of came correct. Thinkin' you can defeat me is like a deaf mute tryin' to claim Tourette! I got this lame in check - like he's all outfitted in Nike. Probably use my lines as a template cause I spit it this nicely! Alec I'm dropping phat like Al Roker, 'gainst these raps mediocre Must be cause I'm so deck I gotta deal with these jokers Like DC, Double Choker, Patron Saint of Polesmokers Whose got lines defined by suck like they writ by Bram Stoker Chemist's mouth competes with sperm banks, man it's vile all the jizz he's compiled Coats his teeth with erotic deposits til he got a million dollar smile Wants to weigh me down like Chris Reeves in a three legged race Cuz when dealin' with burn surgeons, you just hope to save face I'm bustin' ballads so bomb Bauer'd torture to find me Rap's Rapture defined?--Me. So I'll ask won't you kindly, Spare us from another, don't make us shiver and wince Cuz I'll make this pig squeal like he's Beatty in Deliverance Dilated Chemist DC the relentless! I'll leave you battered and defenseless with severed appendages. My weapons of essence splatter intestines for contestin' my blessed penmanship. Defenseless peasants get scarred quick when I burst hearts and cartilage. I've started bombardin' writs rockin' gauntlets and hardened armor, bitch! I'll test this martyr quick, so here's my honest synopsis, get bruised and left topless. With a steel bar to your knees and optics, I'll roast this goblin and his known accomplices! You're now my hostage, blast through cinder, static and ashes - fuck your advances. You're fire inside gets diffused after I force feed you antacid tablet kits! Alec's behaving oddly - writing about vampires, gays and sodomy. I'll end your odyssey when I lodge 6 slugs deep in your arteries. Hold the applause's please! Offered him some gauze to stop the bleed. You're a fraud to me, so if you change your mind - I don't offer lobotomies! Battle 15: Forceful Dragon vs. Giggsalot ~The Score~ Forceful Dragon: 0 Giggsalot: 5 ~The Raps~ Forceful Dragon FD's back from vacation; you'll wish I'd stayed there. I'm the newest sensation with more tricks than Dave Blair Your ass is facin a cremation so you'd best say prayers Understand your frustration cause this shit just ain't fair Cause I'm the toughest act that you'll never follow You couldn't thrill a pub, but I could pack Apollo Be smart and just quit it beats death all hollow I rock Geno Whirl crits, you're a weak ass Mallow I wanted a Nordic bout with Giggs But only I brought down the thunder Thought we were supposed to trade digs But you're already six feet under Giggsalot Yo man, I might be six feet under but I'm diggin' this grave for you Cos Giggs be turnin' battling into an art form, call me Sun Tzu I'll take your ass to the cleaners; with Giggs the grass is always greener See I'll torture you and murder you, surpassing misdemeanors Clip your wings like blackbirds, this dragon flightless like emus FD, that verse was so backwards you should've typed it in Hebrew Your rhymes faker than Xenu - this match more black and white than checkers When I'm done they'll have to identify your corpse by dental records And if we're getting all Viking, man, watch as I rape and pillage I'll ransack your tiny village, raps blacker than an oil spillage I'll strike you down with Mjöllnir, hit hard as a cyclone And kill all that you hold dear from my new Valhalla throne. Battle 16: BBallman vs. foolmo ~The Score~ BBallman: 10 foolmo: 0 ~The Raps~ BBallman You can't beat me, and that shit don't happen often, It's like playing hide and seek against Osama Bin Laden, For me there's no stoppin' I'll put you in a coffin, You'll look like Hiroshima after these bombs I'm droppin'. This game you ain't winning, so you outta be nice, You got better odds at hitting the lottery twice, Your flow has not impressed, seems like Barney on ice, And you don't make any sense, like Chinese without rice. You wouldn't be a foolmo if you just retreated, Because I have schooledmo' people than teachers, Anyone who said you're good simply hasn't been honest, You're like a one legged man in an ass kickin' contest. foolmo I don't care, if it's rare, your defeat will happen now let's be frank Don't need infrared to detect your rotten coward stank I like the odds you're giving me, in ten jackpots already swimming, see Don't need legs when your ass kicks itself 'n girls always walkin' up to me No such thing as sloppy seconds when the first gets rejected Whistle for a cab, or rather a medic, with my lyrical virus you've been infected save_us.fool is ineffective, your registry is defective Killed under my directive, this case needs no detective Praised by the collective, I'm the perp, I confess to my greatness Your lines are herp a durr derp, mine go swish, swish, never miss You wish you were were a Ballman, can't shoot or score but you sure can suck Man, what the fuck? You think you can beat me, you're nothing but a fool, good luck BBallman I'll break this clown's face like I got a lead pie, Only way you comin' first is if you fuck a dead guy. Cuz I'm gunnin' for the top, holdin' no bars, Took your shots, no scars; no cuts so far. It's like the hero is dead, and you're the lonely sidekick, Maybe that's why you're on a loss only diet. Fuck with me, don't try it, you won't survive it, Many men have died quick from my divine shit. And your verse was like a virus, but that ain't gonna stop me, No detective hired cuz they can't identify your body. And Foolmo's opinions suck, I'll sum it up: he fails Worse than Bio thinking tough guys beat up females. foolmo And here I thought I would be seeking my prey But your rap's not only reeking, shining a double failbow ALL THE WAY You think you're unbeatable like you're high on nanomachines GW's dead, unbelievable, I'm FoxDIE, can't skip your death cutscenes My lines will SHOCK, like lightning, executing you will make me inFamous But who gives a fuck? You're not frightening, already threw you under the Crazy Bus Bleep boop-a doop, only your raps could sound more shitty Take off that skirt and make-up, nobody thinks you're pretty Glad this round's over, reading your shit always makes me spit up This win is sweeter than fucking maple syrup It was a good endeavor, but this ain't the special olympics You're never ever clever, go back to banging fat chicks See Also * Week 1 * Week 2 * Week 4 * Week 5 * Playoffs * Back to the Standings and Results page Category:Board 8 RAP BATTLE